Someone destroyed my 5000 pieces jigsaw, not completed yet...

people are so rude and annoying i mean eating ur skin emo seriously goth sorry if being mean this person is so annoying and weird and just fallows me stalker lol i need i told this person i hate them and they know that

aged 13 i lost all my memory and never got it back, i did not know who i was my family or anyone. thats how my life begun and the loneliness was murder, i became a different person apparently and as a result everyone rejected me, i still had to go to school but i was alone, nobody would talk to me and i dont mean that lightly. I am almost 19 now and its only been in the last year that people have really been talking to me. but i became strong in my loneliness, i learnt to take pain and suffer alone without needing help. I joined up to the cadet force shortly after losing my memory and became a trained military leader, the army is my future and my end. i dream of death and pain but i lose no sleep, because i can take it because that is what i have become. i lead a large gaming team of over 150 people online, a group i created and maintain, its harder then i thought. everyone both online and in real life just assumes i can take pain, that i am the one who is there to help but i feel myself screaming. i've been so alone for so long, my only friend was my dog but even he died early due to cancer, now i am completely alone again.
i'm really trying to get people to actually see me as a person but its so hard, and now i think i may have damaged what little of a relationship i had with a girl who i was considering a gd friend. but really i need help, in every sense, this may sound strange but i've gone insane in my mind, i have several personalities in my mind, some of which are not good, but i can control them because i had to become strong and alone. really though i want to feel i can connect to someone because when i have done it calms my mind and the personalities, it makes me happy for once and not so alone but i feel that i am failing.

im feeling alone again

Depressed and sad..panicked and tensed. Help me, God.. please

i think I still haVE FEELINGS FOR EMMANUEL

I just dont understand how you can love a person so much without them knowing you even excist, I love this girl, she has it all, and I was going to talk to her, but then I found out she already where talking with someone else..

he didn't give me a chance to be there for him

my very dear friend didn't inform me that he was coming and as he is here, he refused to stay wid me. :'-(

We moved house and area around a year ago but i still really hate it here. I have friends sure, but they are not real ones i can see straight through them. Most people here are playing a game and im suppose im someb
body to trade and bargin for.I still see my friends where i used to live, i mean its hard to leave people when you have seen and heard from the same people everyday for most of your life. Im just Sad :(
And im letting school and course work get on top of me and make me feel constantly ill and upset.
I wanna just be left alone to curl up.

x

I'm always upset, it's nothing new. The guy I thought who loves me and the family I thought would protect me and the friends I thought would support me, they all let me down.
I have no friends and I don't feel safe and happy with my family and not with my guy either but I don't want to leave him and I can't leave my family and I can't make new friends either.
Now, depression is like a part of me, I always feel so unwanted and terrible that sadness is like my personality or a trait.